You will be here sometime in the next two weeks. It’s surreal. This whole process has gone by in the blink of an eye, and yet it’s hard for me to remember what life was like without someone else sharing my body. I can’t really remember what it’s like to look down and see my feet rather than just my belly. You’re waking up as I type this. I’m feeling you stretch and wiggle and watching my own body stretch in response. It’s hard to believe these days are numbered.
I have loved every second of carrying you, even the seconds full of puffy feet and painful kicks in my ribs. All of them have been signs of your life and there is so much joy in that. As strange as it sounds to say, I already miss this. It has been the most beautiful thing I have ever done to nurture your life with my own and I’m so thankful for all of it. Soon, you’ll sleep across the room from me. You’ll start to spend days and nights apart from me. I’ll blink and you’ll be in kindergarten. All of that is good and right and beautiful, and watching you grow up will be a whole different kind of joy. It won’t ever be like this again.
People keep asking me if I’m ready to be done being pregnant. The answer is both yes and no. Yes because I can’t wait to see your face. I’m so excited to hold you in my arms and for your daddy to rock you to sleep and to hear your voice. No because it has all been God’s grace to me. I will miss feeling you move as I go about my day and the constant reminder that I am not my own. The God we serve is a good Father who gives good gifts, and this has been the best one I have ever known.
We’re ready whenever you are, little girl. I’ll see you soon.